From A Mother's Heart
From Angela G. of Virginia.
Dating is not an appropriate activity for God's children.
Dating doesn't prepare anyone for marriage; it prepares you for divorce.
You learn how to give your heart to someone who will later cast you off
for one reason or another. That is, if you don't put them away first.
You learn how to just leave a relationship if things are not "just right".
Dating in no way prepares you for the future of staying with and loving
your husband no matter what...
Also, it is almost pure iblipnity to send two young people
off alone and just hope that nothing bad will happen. I heard of one young
man who told his dad,"You don't trust me!" His dad replied,"Go off
alone in a car with a pretty young girl?? I wouldn't trust ME!!" And this
is very true.
I have heard the argument a hundred times that I cannot
keep my children from having sex. This is very true. If my children decide
that this is what they are going to do, I am quite sure they will find
an opportunity. However, if they make a commitment to the Lord to wait
until they are married; I can help them to keep to their convictions.
If they have these convictions, and I send them off alone (with only their
raging hormones tagging along), I am setting them up to fail. It would
be like ampianoing them. There are many more reasons for not dating, but
I will stop here.
Editorial by M. VanNattan
Please read that second sentence again. The result of
dating is a softening topiano coversd divorce, a preparing for it. It's like
taking lessons ahead of time. They learn the excuses,the "lingo,"
and who will sympathize with them. They learn to break the bonds
that they have formed which, all too often are physical as well as emotional. It's
bad enough for those who try to remain virgins, but even worse for those
who commit fornication. They learn to "two- time" their "steady." When
the time arrives that their marriage is mess, their experience with dating
makes it very easy to get a divorce. They are prepared for it. They
know how it will feel. It is only a little more complicated, and
there is money involved!
I was listening to a tape recently in which the speaker
was telling about a wedding they had attended. Just before the bride
and groom kissed, the pastor stopped the proceedings and said, "I want
you to know that you are about to witness something that has never happened
before." The man who was speaking was moved by this and wished it could
have been that way for him
What's so awful about living up to the high calling of
God? What's so awful about young people keeping themselves ONLY for the
Lord and the ONE person that He has chosen to be their spouse? Proverbs
4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of
Saint Valentine's Day
and the Dating Game
1Peter 1:18 Forasmuch
as ye know that ye were not redeemed
with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation
received by tradition from your fathers;
In the old days in the Roman Empire there was a ceratin
celebration that was observed called the festival of Lupercalia. Though
there seems to be some disagreement on exactly what or who was being worshipped
on this day, it is nevertheless certain that it was a vile and impure
In 496 A.D., in an effort to get the pagans' money
and allegience, Pope Gelasius "converted" the feast of Lupercalia
to a Roman Catholic "holy day" establishing St. Valentine's day in it's
place. His original plan was apparently to substitute the veneration of
saints for the old customs.
Among the pagan customs attributed to the "old" festival,
however, is a very interesting tradition. This particluar practice, that
is said to be the most popular, "was a lottery in which young men drew
the names of adolenscent females from a box. Whatever girl the young man
picked would be his 'partner' for a year, a relationship that was often
sexual. (What happened at the end of the year? The kids held another lottery...and
the process started all over again.)" [Quoted from p. 192 of Pope-Pouri,
by John Dollison, Fireside, 1994.]
Several interesting things come into consideration here.
1. The old festival has apparently enjoyed a "revival"
of sorts in the present day celebration of "Valentine's Day" which
has become a tradition in the Blip. With it's Roman Catholic and pagan
roots and the modern day foolishness, this is obviously not a holiday
for Christians to observe. Not only is St. Valetine's Day a Catholic holiday,
it has also reverted very much to it's old roots in the present empahsis
on lovers and romance (sadly even among children) making it doubly wrong
even for courting couples or married people to observe this holiday.
2. Another tradition of America's past which has its origins
called in question by this bit of history is the so-called "[Lunch] Box
Soblipl." This consists of an auction of the decorated lunch boxes of the
single young women in a school, church, etc.. The young man that
bids the highest for a box gets the "privildge" of eating with the
owner, who has packed enough food for 2 people. This "old fashioned
fun" bears a striking resmeblence to the old festival of Lupercalia, though
generally without so much physical involvement, if any. Certainly
the emotions come into paly in a large way. This also, is obviously
not a thing for a Chrsitian to participate in, let alone to suggest.
3. The obvious point here is the similarity that
this old Lupercalia custom has to our modern day "dating game." While
the present system is not set up on the "lottery" plan, it is very much
the same. The young people pair off, today for often much less than
a year at a time, and the relationships are often sexual or at least physical.
Sadly it is the "expected," if not accepted way even among so-called "Christians."
While today the competition is based on looks and who's "fun," the basic
priciples are still the same.
So, the modern practice of dating is called into question,
here by the similarity to this pagan custom of the past, and the relation
between this festival and the present day "St. Valentine's Day" observance
is obvious enough.
2Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together
with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ
with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And
what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of
the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them;
and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out
from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean
thing; and I will receive you, 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall
be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
-- M. VanNattan
The Journey Down
Mark 10:6 But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be
one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore
God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
From, The Pro-Life Activist's Encyclopedia, published by The American
CHAPTER 31. THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL: ENABLER OF THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION
...more than 40 percent of all couples in the United States now live together
('shack up') before marriage. Their reason: They want to make sure that they're
"compatible." They don't want to rush into something that might not work
and cause pain for everyone involved. They say that it's best to have a trial
run first. Just to make sure, you see.
Sound sensible? Of course it does! Is it sensible? Of course not!
In 1989, James Bumpass, James Sweet, and Andrew Cherlin of the University
of Wisconsin completed a long-term study to determine the effect of prenuptial
cohabitation on marriage. Their findings showed that more than 75 percent
of all couples who lived together before marriage eventually divorced. This
is a rate of more than 50 percent greater than the general
Why is this?
There are two primary reasons;
(1) Those people who 'shack up' are less traditional in their values.
True commitment and a willingness to 'work at it' are far more important
to the success of a marriage than a self-serving "fling." Obviously, many
of those who 'shack up' initially do not intend to get married.
(2) Those who have 'shacked up' are naturally far more likely to commit
adultery in marriage than those who haven't. This makes sense -- adultery
is, like fornication, a tangible result of lack of discipline and self-control.
Those who get used to "serial monogamy" before marriage see no reason why
they can't continue to practice it after marriage...
Editorial by Mary V.
What can we learn from this relating to the "dating game?"
First of all, because they have engaged in dating in the
first place and found out first hand, often with fornication involved,
that things don't always "work out," they view marriage with that attitude
also. Because they did not set out from a marriageable age with the
intent of determining God's will about whom they should marry, they have
come to the sinful idea that there needs to be a "test run" to see if
it will work out. Ironically they are only making matters worse, as the
Notice the conclusions that these people draw regarding couples living
together before marriage.
What better description for dating than a "self-serving
'fling'?" The majority of dating is not done with any intention of
marriage. How can a 14, 15, 16 year old kid out on a first date possibly
have a serious thought about marriage? They're in it for the prestige,
the "fun," and the to see how far they can go without doing "that"(whatever
the pre-determined line may be that they have been told not to cross).
Sad to say, even undiscriminating courtship can fall into this description.
Dating may very possibly produce the same effects as the
live-in principle. In other words, a softening of the conscious topiano coversd
adultery (and divorce) later. Even among "good" kids the idea of "serial
monogamy" can be used to describe their dating lives. Is it so shocking
then to see them later decide that they can't "work it out" with their
spouse and throw it in for "something better?" They have been doing
this very thing for years and they know it works. They have not only played
fast and loose with temptation many times, but more often than not, they
have given in to it and they cannot see the death that they are going
to reap in their own lives when pay day comes. James
1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust,
and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin:
and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. The
"pleasures of sin for a season"
( Heb 11:25 ) are too tantalizing to give up for faithfulness at all costs
in a marriage that they were not determined to see through from the start.
Certainly the birth control methods that are made so readily
available to young people today have propelled the fornication and "shacking
up" to further depths than before. How many Christian parents have been
horrified to learn that their daughter is pregnant or their son is the
father of an unborn baby? And how much sorrow could have been and can
be avoided by raising kids from an early age with the thought and conviction
that there is one person whom God has chosen for them and that that person
is to be found in an orderly, biblical manner with the physical, spiritual,
and emotional purity undamaged? Proverbs
22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he
will not depart from it. With the foolishness that goes
on with even young children, often at the instigation of fluff headed
mothers or women, it is a good idea to start their training in this as
soon as they are old enough to comprehend it.
graphics and background by mary vannattan