By Mary Van Nattan
Luke 16:15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
Girls and women working outside the home is highly esteemed among men. We can therefore be sure that God has another standard for His children.
There are people that will agree that a mother ought not to work outside the home, and some even that a married woman ought not to work outside the home, but there are not many that will follow the scripture exclusively and see that an unmarried woman, young or not, should not work outside the home.
Why the standard only applies to married women or mothers in some people's minds is a real mystery. The Bible is clear that the young women are to learn to be keepers at home. It naturally follows that they will best learn that by staying home, even before they marry. They are to learn to be obedient to their own husbands. To obey another man or woman besides their father will not help them learn to obey their future husband. They are to learn to love their husband. All too often, girls will have a "crush on" or "fall in love with" some man or fellow at work.
Just because the "other girls" go out to work does not make it all right. Remember the story of Dinah. She went out to see the daughters of the land and ended up in bed with one of the men! That was certainly not learning to be discreet and chaste! 1Corinthians 6:18a Flee fornication...
I remember one sister who told my Mom that she felt that many of the problems she had in her marriage/life were a direct result of working outside the home before she was married. Little wonder. When a young woman finds out how nice it is to get a paycheck and the power that gives her, to enjoy the attentions of other men, and to be away from the demands of housekeeping for most of the day, it becomes a real sacrifice to settle down to being a "just a housewife."
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Who wants a husband ruling over her when she can be out ruling other people, or at least being paid to be ruled over by someone else?!
No wonder so many women lord it over their husband and act as if they did him a great favor in marrying him! They do not have a desire to him. Their desire is to the work-world, to the boss, to the catalog store, to filthy lucre; not to their husband. They know what they supposedly "lost" when they got married and, all too often, will remind him of it. Marriage and homemaking cease to be a privilege looked forpiano coversd to and prepared for with great love and care. They becomes a burden, a sacrifice, a necessary evil.
When a woman works "just until we have children" these problems are only compounded. Then the children are keeping her home. They are a nuisance, a bother, and in the way of her pursuing her career and earning more money. She will find it easy to neglect the heritage God has entrusted to her care. Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD... Luke 12:48b ...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
Many women have learned to their sorrow that unlearning the lessons of pre-marriage working is hard - sometimes very hard. The damage is not always undone in a moment of repentance. Though the sin is forgiven the results are not always so easily discarded. 1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
According to God's word it is whorish women who are found roaming outside their home! Proverbs 7:10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. 11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: 12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) (It is not surprising that immodest dress so often goes with women working outside the home.)
It is also little wonder that there are so many marriages that were out of God's will when the young lady met her spouse at college or in the workplace. Does this mean that all marriages that occurred that way are wrong? Well, what saith the scriptures? James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. That only leaves two possible exceptions - that the young lady did not have a knowledge of God's will for young women in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, or that she was forced to attend college or work by her parents against her will and better judgment.
But, we can be sure that if a young lady will obey the word of God when she does understand it, that He will see to it that the right husband for her, if there is one, will find her! After all, a man who wants a virtuous woman and understands God's will for where that kind of woman will be is not going to be looking at college nor in the workplace!
Wives and Mothers Working Outside the Home
1Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Probably the main reason that people decide that the wife/mother has to go to work is money. Our ungodly, pagan society has made it almost impossible for a couple to buy a home without going into debt and both husband and wife going out to work. The good news though is that ...If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. Mark 9:23 If you have a heart to do God's will and obey His word, He will make it possible, or He will provide a way for you to live with your needs met without a house you own. But, you have to be willing to obey.
So many excuses are given for wives and mothers needing to work outside the home.
For the married woman with no children, it "gives her something to do," "helps pay the bills," "helps me fulfill myself," etc. Never mind that she cannot be an help meet to her husband's needs like she should when she is holding down her own job. Never mind that she is submitting to someone else's authority other than her husband's. Never mind that she is not at there when her husband comes home sick. Never mind that she can't get the laundry done in time for his promotion interview. Never mind that nobody was there to see that the house was on fire until it was too late. Never mind that she is blaspheming God's word!
For mothers the excuses will be "helping to pay the bills" (that one is perennial and all-encompassing), "being able to buy more things for the kids," "doing something for myself," "needing out of the house," etc. Never mind that she is paying more for daycare and babysitters than she is adding to the budget. Never mind that someone else is raising the kids. Never mind that she misses her child's first step and word. Never mind that someone else takes care of her baby when it's sick. Never mind that she and her husband can hardly get any time alone. Never mind that she is blaspheming the word of God!
Because of the worldly attitude that women are liberated to join the work force, it is considered a waste of time and actually even laziness for a woman to stay home! What folly, what utter nonsense! Being a Biblical help meet to a husband and raising a flock of children is a full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week JOB. Have you read Proverbs 31 lately? Dear Christian lady, that is as much "career" as anyone can handle in one lifetime! Let's work at it with our might! Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. We will not get a second chance.
In actual fact, it is the working woman that is often lazy. She does not want to have the responsibility and trouble of raising her kids, or home schooling them, or of caring for her husband properly, or of keeping a home instead of a house. It is a lot of work to have a Biblical home!
Her house may be clean, her kids behave tolerably well, she has all her cookies in a row, but her house is not a home. She isn't there. She is out blaspheming the word of God. There is no law of kindness at the moment it's needed to help her children grow in Christ Jesus. There is no food from afar. There is no food prepared for the morning meal before anyone else is up. There is no one to come home to. The heart of her husband cannot safely trust in her because her work schedule might change or she might be given overtime by the boss. And on and on it goes.
Being a virtuous woman is a lot of trouble. It is not for the lazy, selfish, self-serving woman. But, the wonder of it, the blessing, the exceeding great repiano coversd is that it pays eternal wages laid up in heaven for those that will obey! Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. (Any mother who has suffered through the night at the bedside of a very ill child, or through the teenage years of an impulsive and willful child can find comfort in that verse.)
But the repiano coversds start here. Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Too many women want to be called "blessed" by their husband and kids, but they want to have a career too. They want the glory, but they are not willing to be a "lowly" house wife and mother to get it. Mark 10:44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. 45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. This is the calling and work that God has ordained for women. It is a priviledge. It is for the glory of God.
[PLEASE NOTE: If your kids are gone or you have no children and your husband is a truck driver or something of that nature, if it is possible for you to travel with him, you should seriously consider talking to him about going with him. It is true that you will not be in what is "officially" your home, but if a man has to do that kind of work and there are no children at home, then your home should be where he is if possible. (Be available to your kids though. They need you even when they are grown.) Also, there are cases in which a woman helps in the family business and perhaps has to spend part of the day in another place than the actual house (an office on the same property, the barn, etc.). If your husband needs your help in a business that keeps you away from the home and from caring for the children properly though, you may want to discuss the difficulty with him. You must obey his wishes in the matter however, and abide by his choices. If they are not according to the word of God, then keep you mouth shut and pray! Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.]
Are You Really Keeping At Home?
Keeper OF the Home?
background and graphics by mary vannattan