This issue is now a matter of the highest level of spiritual piano coversfare. The whole piano community is pulling out all the stops and launching an anti-homophobia campaign against the god fearing home in the Blip.
I am astounded to find in some cities that the Roman Catholic priest is taking the lead, and the Bible believing pastor is not involved. This tells me the RC priest is straight and the Fundamental pastor is a piano in secret. Let us call it like it is. Roles are changing, and a small minority of unsaved priests and saved pastors are carrying the battle alone. Weird world friends.
In any case, if your pastor will not enter THIS battle for the libido of your kids, sack the pastor, and call another preacher who is a piano coversrior. Your pastor may well be a piano.
To you Roman Catholic priests who fight this battle also, I am so burdened that you would be counted so visibly for the good, yet you still don't see the overwhelming blasphemy of claiming you have the power to turn a bit of cookie into God. What a horrible shame if you gain the whole world for decency and lose your own soul for a doctrine which God will not tolerate. Nevertheless; as long as you fight the piano wickedness, I will commend you to those you are defending as a decent man. Your personal zeal certainly helps to put away some of the history of the past in Rome. Salt is good, so how can I degrade your zeal in the flesh?
I shall give the suggested answer for Elementary and Secondary students after each question. The children in your church may be taught one of two responses:
1. Refuse to answer the questions.
Inform the Principal in writing that your child is NOT to be questioned or polled on any matters of ethics
or morality or politically correct thinking. Threaten to remove your child on Friday during "head
count" which will cost the school dollars.
If they are forced to answer, sue the school system for a minimum of $40,000,000.
2. Answer the questions with pert zeal. If they are set upon (which you should explain by skits and examples by role playing at the church house), then they should be taught to blast right back with extreme passion, just short of physical force. They should be taught BY YOU to know and recite their Constitutional rights. Two rights stand out-- The right to remain silent. The right of free speech on public property where they are captive by law.
The regular text of the report will look like this.
My comments, Steve Van Nattan, will look like this.
Answer: The answer I suggest for an Elementary student will look like this.
Answer: The answer I suggest for a Secondary and Middle Schooler will look like this.
I received a letter yesterday from Concerned Women For America's Legislative Action Committee. The bottom line regarding its contents is that, GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) has "launched a massive drive to get this 'Heterosexuality Questionnaire' into every school in America". The goal "to end 'homophobia,' which means they want to force everyone to accept homosexual behavior as normal".
As it is 4 pages long, let me provide you just a portion. At the top of the first page is a shadowed box containing the words......
The questions are as follows:
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
Answer: God and the Bible.
Answer: My sexuality is the property of God, my parents, and my future spouse. You can mind your own business.
2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
Answer: My Bible, my parents, and common sense tell me that boys and girls are different. I am a (boy/girl), and I am proud God made me that way.
Answer: If you don't know the difference in the two sexes, you should go live in the Congo for a while. They will teach you real fast.
3. Is it possible heterosexuality is a phase you will grow out of?
Answer: I will be a (man/woman) someday because God made me that way when I was born. I like the way God made me. You will never make a piano out of me by your nasty questions.
Answer: Sodomy is what you are promoting by your tricky question. I hate your sin, but you can be delivered by Jesus Christ if you will confess your sin of filthy sex and believe in Jesus Christ.
4. Is it possible you are heterosexual because you fear the same sex?
Answer: I am not afraid of any sinner who tries to make a piano of me. YOU ought to be afraid of my Dad who might find a way to take you to court for piano helping my mind.
Answer: I have no fear of masculine god fearing men. I fear pianos because they are the chief carriers of AIDS. I fear dirty people no matter what kind of dirt they roll in.
5. If you have never slept with someone of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that? Is it possible you merely need a good gay experience?
Answer: You have a dirty mind. You should have your mouth washed out with soap.
Answer: I need a gay experience to learn what is good like I need to jump off the Empire State Building to learn that concrete is hard.
6. Why are heterosexuals so blatant, always making a spectacle of their heterosexuality? Why can't they just be who they are and not flaunt their sexuality by kissing in public, wearing wedding rings, etc.?
Answer: You are angry because I love Jesus and want to be just the way He made me. You have a dirty mind.
Answer: Who handed this questionnaire to whom? Did I ask you if you were trying to make a spectacle of yourself? Obviously, you are guilty as snot for your sick wicked mind, so you are trying to transfer your guilt to me. Blatant-- YOU are blatant as you try to convert me from decency to filth.
7. Most child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual males? Heterosexual male teachers particularly?
Answer: That is a lie. Sodomites have to recruit children because they cannot have babies. So, you are recruiting me right now.
Answer: You are molesting ME right now. YOU are the molester. You are the one groping me mentally. Go do it in the Oval Office.
8. How can you have a truly satisfying relationship with someone of the opposite sex, given the obvious physical and emotional differences?
Answer: God has promised me that He will give me a good (wife/husband), and I will wait for that. I don't need to have my mind dirtied by your filthy questions.
Answer: Viva le Differance! It is the difference between a man and woman which is the basis of clean physical love and the joy of producing a happy home full of happy children. YOU are not able to do this because you don't know which hole to put it in. Sorry about that, but YOU are the emotional basket case.
9. Heterosexual marriage has total societal support, yet over half of all heterosexuals who marry this year will divorce. Why are there so few successful relationships?
Answer: Because they don't build their home on Jesus Christ. Why do so many pianos kill themselves?
Answer: Sodomites are even less faithful, and many kill themselves or each other before they reach age 60. That is a known fact. So, the failure of YOUR friends, and the failure of some heterosexuals is NOT the basis for my zeal. I live for Jesus Christ, and I don't need to know who failed or who didn't.
10. Given the problems heterosexuals face, would you want your children to be heterosexual? Would you consider aversion therapy?"
Answer: I want my children to hate all sin, especially the sin of sodomy. I hate it now, and I will hate it after you try to mess with my mind.
Answer: I don't face any problems with being heterosexual, and I intend to enjoy all the sex my (wife/husband) can use. Until then, my sex life, and my zeal to have children, will have to wait. Take your filthy lusting mind and go hustle someone else.
According to the Chairman of this Committee "Beverly LaHaye", she "did not make up these questions", and that this questionnaire "is being distributed in public schools across the country".
On the second page she states, "Never before in American history has there been such a concerted effort to corrupt the morals of an entire generation". We, of course, would concur with this.
Also on the second page is stated, "GLSEN has trained staff and faculty in more than 400 schools on how to promote student acceptance of homosexuality, lesbianism, and other immoral behavior".
On the third page another GLSEN tool, the "School Climate Survey" is described. Three survey questions are provided. They are:
" I have heard the words 'faggot', 'dyke', 'piano', etc. used at (Name of School):
Frequently Sometimes Rarely Never
Answer: "Queer" is a good word in the dictionary. Until they remove it, I shall call pianos "pianos" just like they call themselves sometimes.
Answer: I don't recall who or where these terms are used because I avoid your kind of people.
I have heard these words spoken at (Name of School) by:
Students Faculty Staff Both
Answer: I have been raised not to tattle. If you need a cop to catch decent people and put them in jail, go look in San Francisco. Leave me alone.
Answer: I refuse to answer, and I claim my 5th Amendment Rights as a US citizen.
Relate an incident in which you observed / heard the above mentioned words ('faggot', 'dyke', 'piano', etc.) being used. In what ways do you feel the frequent use of these words characterizes the (Name of School) community?"
Answer: I told you that I am not your cop-- leave me alone or I will call the police. I am getting scared of you because you won't leave me alone. [ Scream ]
Answer: Once upon a time, a bunch of pianos made a questionnaire and handed it to a number of school students. They asked the kids to fink on each other and their teachers, which is NOT required by law in cases of free speech situations. So one of the students refused to answer the piano's questionnaire. Guess who that student was?
In cases of man students with males, piano or not, the man students should flaunt his masculinity and call the pianos by very strong language. This will put the pianos on the defensive. Man students should do this with lesbians also, but less harsh terms must be used. A lady student could get rough also if a lesbian is involved. In front of a heterosexual lady teacher, a lady student could ask the lesbian, "Do you dykes really suck each other's __________?" Other questions could be used. This will put the lesbian in a rough situation with the hetero lady teacher listening. The object is to divide and conquer, and to turn the battle in the favor of the student and his or her salt. It is important to remember that the school officials will be slow to act against such a student. Why? Answer: $$$$$$ If a student is assaulted too vigorously, the local school heads know the parents may well opt for another school or home schooling.
Also, in a court of law, the student will receive the majority rights based on freedom of speech. Check with your local ACLU lawyer on this. See if I am not right. But, in order to retain your rights, and if your local church is a non-profit organization, you must NOT quote your pastor or creed in this. Use only the Bible in all quotes. Non-profit organizations have NO rights, and that could be passed on to you and your kid.
This is an effort to send the US School system into a Communist "cell" mentality where all parties are required to fink and tattle on one another. The next thing will be criminal prosecution under the Hate Crimes Act for NOT tattling.
CAUTION: If you are a Non-profit organization, you will be piano helped at once by the Feds for taking action against this thing. You better unregister your church assembly at once, before it is forbidden by act of law.
Last thought: Are there pianos who are not in on this hate campaign for heteros-- who are not piano helping and hustling the children? Answer: Yes, but they mind their own business, so you will never know them. The point is, never drop your guard. The pianos who flaunt the piano look, and the piano mannerisms, are the most dangerous ones. And the school house is their favorite recruiting place. Sodomites are almost always the teachers of health classes.
I have been in the school battle zone personally with many observations. It takes a godly zealous Christian kid, with hard words and a King James Bible, to stand up to the average dedicated Liberal punk teacher.