GOVERNMENTS-- A SATIRE
is how it is with human government. Enjoy :-)
You have two cows. Your
lord takes some of the milk.
|You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a
barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government
gives you a glass of milk.
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take
care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government
gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulation says you would have produced
if they had left you alone.
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them,
and sells you the milk.
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker
about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one
works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all
the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them
and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both,
shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires
you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. When you are later starving,
the government buys the second one, makes balogna of it, and gives it to
you in a food line all wrapped in a white label with black print.
You don't have any cows. The bank won't lend you any money to buy cows, because
you don't have any cows.
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of shrilling violins
and "state of the art" montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale
of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp)
divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every
day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes.
The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty
performance and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The
Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials,
though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot
and fast at its Beijing restaurant. The American cow was later disqulified when
it was learned that it was using steroids.
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